Fireworks

"Saturday, 15th January 2011.

The day has come. Living room bersepah dengan barang-barang yang dikumpul oleh Ilya Syafeena for the past 1 year something living in this house. Banyak sangat kenangan aku dengan si yaya tu. Dengan rumah kena pecah masuk 2 kali. Trauma. Yea, aku admit aku bukan la bff yaya. Tapi aku sayang dia. Aku care pasal dia. Aku bersyukur sangat sebab ditemukan dengan kawan-kawan yang baik. Sebelum yaya dengan ili pergi, dengan tak mandinya, aku say good bye. Hanya Allah je tau macam mana perasaan aku time tu. Aku tak ready nak say good bye. Aku tak boleh lagi. Persahabatan tu macam sekejap sangat walaupun macam-macam berlaku. Aku tak tau cam mana nak cakap. I can't really put those in words. Deep down inside, aku sedih gila. Aku emosi gila. I'm not good when it comes with goodbye."

-Tun Nornabilah's Wacikelay.

Hai Bellot, aku curi dari blog kau. There's nothing much for me to say but thanks for being there for me. You're such a good friend and you never failed to stand behind my back through thick and thin, during my ups and downs. I love you too and you should have known that.


Hi. Assalamualaikum. I've been slightly absent from posting for a while. But I do actually still exist. Too many things happened throughout these restless and bustling weeks and I don't know where should I begin.


Well..basically, I am no longer staying in Batang Berjuntai and currently moving somewhere in Kepong for 3 months throughout my practicum session in SMK Kepong. It has been 2 weeks in school and I've been assigned to teach form 4 students. I've done an ice-breaking sessions with the 'kids'. They were okay.... I mention 'kids' because the way they behaved didn't really show that they're actually 16 years old! Aku tengah bercakap kat depan ni, dorang boleh main baling2 beg kat blakang, main kejar-kejar, tumbuk2 kawan sebelah, menyanyi berkumpulan, tidur secara berjemaah dan sebagainya. Maybe I need to do some abstraction on their behavior and get the best approach to cope with those Chinese kids. Atau mungkin ini balasan kerana masa sekolah dulu aku nakal juga.


I've never imagined to stand there, in front of the class and being a teacher. I cried, practically every night realizing that I'm doing something I'm not fond of. But i'm trying. Bukan tak suka, cuma tak berapa pasti dengan kebolehan diri sendiri. Kurang motivasi kepada diri sendiri kot. Sikit-sikit call Mak. Sikit-sikit call Mak. Manja kan? Ihiks! But, according to Abraham Maslow's needs hierarchy theory, teaching is one of the example on how someone's reaching the highest level in the pyramid which is self-actualization. It is the ability to develop skills and one's potential; contohnya cikgu pelatih macam saya la. Saya sedang mencuba utk mencapai the top level. I am trying.


Conclusively, I hope I can get through this practicum days with ease, insyaAllah.
Happy chinese new year, everyone. Enjoy your holidays. :)